When Mental Health Crises Hit Home

To be honest, it was one of the highlights of my speaking career. The conference was filled with several hundred mental health professionals from the Research Triangle who were keen on offering clinical, therapeutic, and spiritual responses to the challenges facing their clients and patients.

I returned to NYC quite inspired to offer hope and fresh perspective to the individuals I serve here in the city--as well as nationally and globally. And then the pandemic hit and life as we know it ground to a halt. Little did I know how valuable the insights from this presentation would become over the last eighteen months.

The pandemic has raised the issue of mental health front-and-center once again. It's become more than obvious that success, wealth and fame are not enough to protect us from plague or fill the proverbial “hole in the soul” that fear and uncertainty about the future dredge up.

In spite of all that, I have been encouraged to engage thousands of people through one-on-one coaching and virtual teaching engagements and witness their response to mental health crises and physical illness with courage, fortitude, and empathy.

But still, many myths persist around mental health issues. In American society we seem to think that if one is strong enough, good-looking enough, wealthy enough, or successful enough, then deep-seated needs somehow vanish away. The truth remains: we cannot buy our way out of physical disease or psycho-emotional distress.

So we self-medicate. We engage in behaviors that may be healthy in moderation but very unhealthy in excess.

• We shop online and run up our credit cards.

• We drink too much because “one more can’t hurt”.

• We pop an extra pill to numb the emotional or physical pain.

• We jump from anonymous sexual partner to the next, craving any sense of connection to satiate our deep sense of loneliness, isolation, and disconnection.

• We lose our sense of time and self binge-watching Netflix, video gaming or wasting time scrolling through contentious social media posts on our smart phone.

• We escape into religiosity, certitudes, and magical thinking, fearing the grim reality will betray our misplaced hope that the world is indeed a predictable, stable, benevolent place--even when we know deep down it always isn't.

• We become a workaholic to avoid the tough relationship issues at home that we aren’t ready to face.

• We find ways to isolate and continue working from home because we are too paralyzed with fear to engage the outside world where COVID and variants are still ravaging the unvaccinated.

When the above doesn’t work we attempt to satiate unmet existential angst with any number of other compulsive behaviors. Whether we shop, go for drinks, use a substance, or jump from hook-up to the next, these measures are not enough to bring the peace and fulfillment we desperately long for.

So what are we to do then?

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to post on some specific topics that have come up in recent months--both from my professional work as well as from conversations with friends and family.

But for today I’ll end this post with this:

If you think a friend or loved one seems unusually down or not acting like their normal selves, don’t wait for them to reach out. Most people who are in the throes of depression or anxiety do not have the wherewithal to advocate for themselves.

Pick up the phone. Call, text, or email. It only takes a moment to say “Hey, you were on my mind, how are you doing?” That check-in lets the other person know they are not alone and most importantly, they don't have to go it alone anymore.

Who knows? You might even save a life in the process.

If you need to speak to someone now, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline anytime, 24/7, to speak to a professional who can help: 1-800-273-8255.